The Girl I've Become

The Girl I’ve Become is an autobiographical solo rooted in a present, living reality: my ongoing process of reconnecting with my father after 21 years of absence. This is not a retrospective work, but a reflection of what I am actively navigating—an emotional landscape filled with contradiction. Grief for what was lost. Joy for what’s been found. Anger. Hope. Confusion. Love. All of it, all at once.

Dance has always been where I tell the truth. When words fall short, movement becomes my language. This piece is intensely physical, shaped by every layer of my training—ballet, contemporary, jazz, improvisation, and the gestures of everyday life. These vocabularies collide and converse to form a body that remembers, questions, forgives, and sometimes still aches.

What unfolds on stage is not a resolution. It’s not a linear story or a tidy ending. It’s a reconciliation in motion—messy, vulnerable, and real. You will witness my body carrying memory, resentment, love, and healing all at once. That weight is part of the offering.

While this work centers around my relationship with my father, it is also about me—how I’ve been shaped by his absence, by my own resilience, and by the community that stepped in and raised me. It is a love letter to the “village” that held me, and to dance itself: a constant companion in my journey toward understanding, healing, and becoming.

My hope is that in witnessing this piece, you might feel the permission to hold your own contradictions—to let your emotions live, breathe, and move.

Choreographed by Maddison Bulman with further assistance from Heather Clark
Music: Alisabeth Von Presley
Spoken Word: Maddison Bulman
Written Word: Maddison Bulman with curation by Alisabeth Von Presley
Lighting Design: Jim Albert
Costume Design: Juliana Waechter
Dancer: Maddison Bulman

Please be advised this performance includes strobe, personal reflections on father absence and explores themes of abandonment, emotional trauma, and healing. It contains autobiographical material that may be emotionally challenging for some viewers. Please care for yourself as needed during and after the performance.

Special thanks to my Mom – my best friend, my anchor, my heart. Thank you for holding me through every step of this process—for your endless love, patience, and understanding. You’ve walked with me through the hardest parts of this journey, and your strength has helped me find my own. I could never do this without you. To my Grandma – your presence has always been a steady light in my life. Thank you for your quiet strength, your listening ear, and your unwavering support. You’ve always been there for me, and that means more than I can ever say. To Mindy, thank you so much for guiding me through this process. Your advice and support meant the world. To Alisabeth Von Presley – thank you for pouring your heart into this work with me. From the helping me writevto the music, your creative spirit helped me find my voice in ways I didn’t know I could. More than anything, thank you for being a big sister to me—your friendship is one of the greatest gifts of this process. To Heather Clark – from teaching me dance to guiding me through creating my own choreography, you’ve always been there for me. Thank you for your encouragement, honesty, and belief in me as both a dancer, artist, and human. Thank you for being like big sister to me and always being in my corner. To Levi and Colleen – thank you for helping me find the courage to take that first step towards reconnection. Your support helped make this moment possible. To my village – every person who has held me, loved me, and reminded me I’m not alone: this piece carries your fingerprints. Thank you for being part of my healing. And to my dad – thank you for showing up. For witnessing this piece. For choosing to do the work of rebuilding something with me. This is just the beginning, and I’m grateful we’re here.

Flicker

Flicker explores the life cycle of a flame—ignition, growth, rage, and extinguishment—reflecting the evolution of passion. Love, like fire, may spark or even fade, yet always holds the potential to reignite. Flicker invites you to embrace the irresistible pull to return to your own illumination.

Choreographed by Cassidy Banwart
Music: "Kerzenlicht" by Douglas Baker
Lighting Design: Jim Albert
Costume Design: Juliana Waechter
Dancers: Victoria Adams, Cassidy Banwart

I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to my advisor, Kristin Marrs, for her trusting guidance throughout this journey. A special thanks to Douglas Baker, whose virtuosic talent has been the driving inspiration for this project. And an extra special thanks to my parents, for their unwavering love and support that has blessed me with the incredible privilege of pursuing my passion for the arts. To my fellow BFAs: Merde!

Leave It Better Than You Started

When we experience states of trauma, regret, grief, and turmoil, how can we escape it? Do we ever fully escape the regrets? Inspired by my late grandfather, Bill Quinby, and his numerous life lessons, this piece showcases my journey of rediscovering myself, a reminder that through my journey at the University of Iowa, my main job is to be a better person than who I came into college as.

Choreographed by Jack Delaney
Music: "Farewell Life (Arn Andersson Remix)" composed by Nights Amore
Lighting Design: Jim Albert
Costume Design: Juliana Waechter
Dancer: Jack Delaney
Voicemails by Bill Quinby

Please be advised that this performance will use haze and some strobe lighting affects.

I would first like to thank my project advisors, Mindy Myers and Armando Duarte, for their contributions to this work and for their intellect and ideas. I would also like to thank my amazing fellow BFA seniors. There is no other group of people I would rather embark on this journey with! Thank you to my Prestige Dance Studio co-workers and students for inspiring me in so many ways. Thank you to Prestige Dance Studio for cheering me on this year and during this process. To Greta, thank you for showing me what a true friend is. You have stood by me through so many dark times, reminding me that I will get through it all. You inspire me daily and are the bonus sister the world knew I needed. To my sisters, thank you for always setting an example for me and for everything you’ve done to help me grow as a person. Thank you for being the reason I started dancing 15 years ago. Thank you to Grandma and Grandpa Delaney for always supporting me, coming to every dance recital and for your unconditional love. Thank you to Grandma Q and Grandpa Bill, your life lessons and love inspired this work and I can’t wait for you both to watch from the best seat in the house. Lastly, thank you to my amazing parents who are my biggest cheerleaders, my first call, and the two people who love me unconditionally through all the highs and lows. Thank you for never giving up on me and for being the reason I am on stage today. I wouldn’t have made it through this journey without you.

The Advocate

A plot to destroy—turned on its head.
This piece invites us on a journey through unexpected authority, looming threat, inner turmoil, and ultimate redemption. Inspired by the powerful book of Esther, it centers on a woman who preserved her life by concealing her identity—only to be divinely called to reveal her true self in order to stand in the gap for her people.

“Don’t think for a moment that because you’re in the palace you will escape this. If you persist in staying silent at a time like this, help and deliverance for our people will come from elsewhere—but you and your family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you were made queen for such a time as this.”
(Esther 4:14)

My hope is that both the performer and the audience come away with a renewed understanding of the power in unveiling the hidden core to ourselves. Sometimes, the very thing we hide to protect ourselves is the very thing that can preserve a people, awaken a nation, and save a generation.

Choreographed by T'Ana Selah
Music: "4_101", "Wings2", and "Wings3" by Michael Wall
Lighting Design: Jim Albert
Costume Design: Juliana Waechter
Dancer: Soraya Cohen

Family Ties and Table Tales

The work is paying homage to my family by showcasing snapshots or instances of memories I have from family gatherings, conversations, and overall just growing up surrounded by the people that are in my life. Each dancer was given a specific family member to embody that drives their character and shapes their interactions and presentation. The Family Tree is as follows:

Avery plays the role of me
Tyler is my little brother Bruno
Maddie is my mom Nicole
Sam is my dad Lance
Allie Fairman is my Aunt Amy - also my dad’s youngest sister
Ella is my Aunt Melanie - also my mom’s older sister
Ally Meinders is my cousin Sarah - my aunt Melanie’s oldest daughter
Fabiola is my cousin Megan - my aunt Melanie’s youngest daughter and Sarah’s little sister

Now that you have the family tree and enter into this embodied scrapbook that is my piece, I leave you with this Stanley Tucci quote: “The door is always open and you are always welcome to join the feast.”

Choreographed by Enza Handzel in collaboration with the dancers
Music: "Family Ties and Table Tales" by Bruno Handzel
Lighting Design: Jim Albert
Costume Design: Juliana Waechter
Dancers: Avery Provorse, Tyler Phi, Maddison Bulman, Sam Leverence, Ella Kempen, Allie Fairman, Fabiola Castaneda-Santiago, Ally Meinders

Special thanks to Stephanie Miracle for being the most supportive and encouraging advisor through this process. Thank you to my little brother, Bruno Handzel, for making a piece of music totally out of your comfort zone and making sense out of my outlandish music wishes. Lastly, thank you to my family for inspiring this work and shaping me into the woman I am today. I don’t know where I would be without you all.

Meet the Team